By Duke Tam
Ever walked into a room full of strangers and felt completely out of place? Maybe it’s a career fair, a club mixer, or even a group study session, and everyone seems to know someone—except you. You feel lost. It reminds me of being the “new kid” in school again, waiting awkwardly for someone to talk to me. Except this time, there’s no teacher to introduce me to a potential new friend. And, honestly, that can be terrifying.
But here’s the thing: everyone feels that way at some point. Networking, especially in the beginning, can feel intimidating, but it’s so much more than just shaking hands or collecting LinkedIn connections. It’s about building relationships, and yes, even friendships. And, believe it or not, it’s tied to something even bigger—confidence.
As someone who’s had to make networking a profession, I get it. I’m Duke Tam, co-founder of MyHelpBuddy and Venture Fellow at Headline VC. Networking was basically my job—whether it was building connections for my startup or securing investments in the VC world. I had to learn, the hard way, how to walk into a room full of strangers and make it work. And I want to show you how to do it, too.
The Confidence Factor
Here’s something I’ve learned over time: people who feel confident about what they bring to the table tend to network easily. They see their value, and they’re eager to share it with others. On the flip side, when we’re unsure of our strengths, it’s easy to feel like we don’t belong in the conversation. Sound familiar?
But you know what? Everyone has something valuable to offer, including you. Maybe you just haven’t realized what that is yet. Often, the things we’re good at are so natural to us that we don’t even recognize them as unique skills. But trust me—there’s something in you that someone else is looking for.
Breaking the Ice: It’s Easier Than You Think
I know that stepping into a room full of strangers can feel like stepping off a cliff. You don’t want to be that person who awkwardly hovers on the edge of every group, unsure of how to jump in. I’ve been there. In fact, I used to skip events altogether because I was too nervous.
Then, something changed. A friend of mine, Sarah, invited me to a networking event. I wasn’t excited about it, but I went because, well, she asked. At the event, I stood awkwardly by the snacks, unsure of what to say. Then, I decided to just start with something simple. I turned to a woman nearby and said,”I love your jacket—it’s such a great color!” She smiled and we started chatting. That small compliment turned into a real conversation. Before I knew it, we were laughing, and I left that event feeling connected.
What’s the takeaway? Start small. A compliment or a simple question can break the ice. You don’t need to have a perfect pitch; you just need to start somewhere.
Networking for Students: Practical Tips You Can Use Today
Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty. As a student, you’re probably facing different networking scenarios than seasoned professionals—career fairs, student organizations, campus events. So, how can you make the most of those opportunities without feeling overwhelmed? Here’s what I’ve learned over the years:
- Just Say Hello: Seriously, don’t overthink it. Whether you’re at a club meeting, a career fair, or even a class mixer, starting with a simple “Hi, I’m _____, can I join you?” works wonders. Everyone is there to meet people, and no one is going to think it’s weird. “Hi, I’m ______. What’s your major?” or “Have you been to this event before?” are perfect ways to kick off a conversation.
- Make it Fun: The more relaxed you are, the more approachable you’ll seem. You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, but if you’re enjoying yourself, people will notice. Find a “lost soul” like yourself and chat together—it’s much easier to face the crowd when you’re not alone!
- Power-Up with a Confident Alter Ego: Here’s a trick I learned when I still struggled with being shy: imagine a bolder, more confident version of yourself like a character. This persona is fearless and friendly. You might feel nervous, but your “alter ego” isn’t. It sounds silly, but it works. I call mine Bold Duke, and he helps me get through tough networking events!
- Set a Time Limit: If the idea of being stuck at a networking event for hours terrifies you, set a 90-minute timer. Tell yourself that after 90 minutes, if you’re not feeling it, you can leave. Giving yourself permission to go takes the pressure off. If you make a few new connections in that time, consider it a win!
- Remember Their Name: It sounds basic, but using someone’s name makes a huge difference. Repeat it when they introduce themselves: “Hi Marie, it’s nice to meet you!” Not only will it help you remember their name, but it also makes the interaction more personal. People love hearing their own name. Psychology backs this up!
Questions to Kickstart Great Conversations
Sometimes, the hardest part of networking is knowing what to say. Here are a few conversation starters that will set you apart:
- “What’s the coolest thing that’s happened in this room?” (This one works anywhere—school events, career fairs, you name it!)
- “If this event turned into a costume party, what would you dress up as?” (A playful way to break the ice and spark some fun!)
- “If you could attend any event from the past, what would it be?” (Woodstock doesn’t count—too easy!)
Networking is About Giving, Not Just Getting
One thing I wish I knew sooner: Networking isn’t just about what you can get—it’s about what you can give. When you meet someone new, think about how you can be helpful to them. Ask questions like:
- “What are you working on right now?”
- “How can I help you with that?”
You’ll be surprised at how much people appreciate your willingness to help. And guess what? When you offer value first, people are far more likely to want to help you in return. It’s a win-win.
The Emotional Side: It’s Okay to Be Nervous
Here’s a little secret: Even after years of networking, I still get nervous. Sometimes I walk into a room and feel like I don’t belong. Sometimes I leave events early because I feel out of place. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s all part of the process. The key is to show up, take that first step, and keep going.
Final Challenge: Take the First Step
So, here’s my challenge for you: The next time you find yourself at a networking event—whether it’s a student mixer, a career fair, or even just a class where you don’t know anyone—start small. Say hello, give a compliment, ask a question. That’s all it takes to start building connections that could turn into something much bigger.
Networking isn’t some mysterious skill only a few people have. It’s about being curious, being open, and being yourself. And remember, the more you do it, the easier it gets. You’ve got this!
About the Author
Duke Tam is a Venture Fellow at Headline VC and the co-founder of MyHelpBuddy, a tech platform based in Berlin. Before launching MyHelpBuddy, Duke worked across Singapore, Dubai, and Germany, helping early-stage ventures scale rapidly in dynamic markets.
Duke holds a Master’s in International Development from IE University and the United Nations System Staff College (UNSSC), where he focused on sustainable development. Duke has contributed insights on venture capital and startups to various industry platforms. A strong advocate for the role of entrepreneurship in driving social change, Duke believes that “entrepreneurship is about creating value that goes beyond profit.”
Featured image courtesy of Hivan Arvizu via Unsplash.com
