By Paula Candiles
“I love you.” What a dangerous sentence. Just three words, eight letters, and yet it holds the power to change everything. But why? Love can be defined as an intense feeling of deep affection, but how intense? How much of a feeling? Or affection does it involve?
I don’t know about you, but growing up, I spent countless hours immersed in movies and TV shows that revolved around love—all-consuming, electrifying, and life-changing love. Whether or not you consider yourself a romantic, you cannot deny there’s always a couple in the background of each movie that makes you wonder if you will ever experience that feeling. And as the holidays approach, all the cinemas will be filled with romantic films about two lovers that end up together watching the lights in the city —London, New York, Paris- reminding us what we should be doing.
At this stage in our lives, we’re supposed to be focused on “more important” things, right? Or that’s what we tell ourselves? We are “too busy” – too consumed with studying for exams, attending practice, meeting friends, or heading home to spend time with family. But have you ever considered that these distractions might be an excuse to avoid facing our deepest fear? The reality of what we are terrified of … is finding what love our childhood stories promised us and not being able to handle it .. not to be able to say those three words and eight letters without fear.
We actually prefer to hang out with someone and do what couples do but without being “a couple.” Even sometimes, we say that the reason we do not have a partner is that we haven’t found “the one.” And let me tell you something: Maybe you have already crossed paths with “the one” and not had the patience to let her/him all the way in. And why is that? Because, once again, we are scared of those three words and eight letters.
We’ve become experts at performing love rituals without the commitment—hanging out, sharing late-night talks, even crossing the blurred lines of intimacy. We say we haven’t found “the one,” but maybe you have already crossed paths with “the one” and have not had the patience to let her/him all the way in. Why is that? Because, once again, we are scared of those three words and eight letters. Because those words—those three simple words—frighten us more than any exam, any lost game, or any job interview ever could.
We hide behind our pursuits of success, claiming that emotional exposure isn’t as crucial. In fact, later on, when we get to sleep at night, we cannot help but wonder why we don’t have someone pulling us closer to them. The questions come softly, like whispers: What if? What if there was someone here?
Some say nothing good happens after 3 a.m. (or so Barney from How I Met Your Mother once claimed). But I actually think that it is that moment when the sun goes down and the moon comes up that we wonder—without rationalizing – that we are tented call, text, or hope that he/she will appear in the middle of the night to tell us those three words and eight letters. But the next morning brings embarrassment and shame at the vulnerability we showed. What was I thinking?
But maybe that’s the point. We weren’t thinking; we were feeling. And as terrifying as that can be, isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it lovely? Love is something worth that fear. At the end of the day, it’s only a word and four letters. It all depends on the how scared or brave your are,. It’s a moment we can spend years avoiding, but one that, when taken, can make all the difference. And maybe, just maybe, be finally the couple of the background.
Featured image courtesy of TV Tropes
